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11 July 2010 @ 02:18 am
It's 2:45 in the morning, and I'm putting myself on warning  
I can't tell if I'm more incompetent or impatient. It's probably very close to a tie.

I have been in Austin for three weeks. Thus far, it's a very cool town! I've seen the famous 6th Street Revelries, Book People, Whole Foods. I celebrated July the 4th with Team America: World Police complete with cap gun. And I haven't been out much, so I am sure there is much, much more to be seen. But a great place to live.

Of course, the rub is, as always, I still don't know how to live. To a good extent. I've been in my own place for two-and-a-half weeks now, so I'm called upon more self-sufficient than I have ever been in my life--but I'm not sure if that's the best thing for me. I've always wanted to be independent, but that's always turned into loner for whatever reason. I don't know. Maybe I should have Courtney over again, and invite my neighbors this time. Maybe.

I went out to the bars on 6th street tonight. I'd never been to a bar and not known any one (I think). Do people...actually talk to strangers in bars in real life (i.e. "Do you come here often?"). Maybe. I can't imagine doing it myself, as I probably be unable to see how uncomfortable they were. Maybe I should make a point to do so next time I'm out?

I don't know. I feel like the three things a 24-year-old man should be somewhat clear about would be:
  1. What, vaguely, his career field and/or goals are, or how to look for work in general.
  2. How to maintain close contact with old friends while initiate contact with new people
  3. Meeting and/or talking to women
I seem to seriously be clueless on all of those fronts. If I weren't, I wouldn't keep applying to random admin/counseling/law/theatre jobs while wondering if I should go back to school to be an accountant. Or have talked to any of the people I claim to be friends with since I moved to Texas, or in the last six months or year. Or have kissed someone at all in the past year, which is decidedly a record for me since I started, but in a bad way. Maybe I am just a child inside. And out even.

Or maybe. Instead of just being Room For Improvement. There will be, for once, Actual Improvement. I can't say. I could say I'll redouble my efforts on all these fronts, but I have said it before. So I'll just say...I'll try Anyway, I'm tired and tomorrow is Pancakes Day. So I've got that going for me. Which is nice.
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: "Somebody That I Used To Know" Elliott Smith